Why I Still Rock my Son to Sleep

Have you ever found yourself looking back and wishing for the “good ol’ days”? Or maybe you spend more time looking forward to something in the future?

I have always had the problem of “living in the future”. If I am going through something difficult (finishing up college, for example) then I will tell myself to just “get through it”. I then get so caught up in the “just get though it” mindset that I don’t enjoy life in the moment. Does this sound familiar at all to you, or am I just crazy? It could very well be a possibility. ;)

Mother Son


I soon found myself thinking this way when my son was a newborn. I was beyond overjoyed when he was born that I could FINALLY snuggle and smell that wiggly baby who I had carried for 9 months. But it was hard. I was exhausted, I didn't know when the last time I had showered, breastfeeding was extremely painful, and we were practically drowning in laundry. So I found myself thinking one morning around 3:00 that if I can just “get through it” then soon it will all be over.


It will all be over.


Did I just think that? I was shocked that I had allowed myself to think that thought about my current situation in life and I suddenly realized that I didn’t want to think that way. It had been my dream to have a child and now my dream had come true! And I was sitting there wishing for it to quickly pass by so I could get some sleep!?

(One of the very first lessons I learned as a new mama was that I am EXTREMELY selfish!)

I soon finished nursing my son; I put him back in his little bassinet and crawled back into bed. That morning, I woke up and I was determined to change my thinking.


And I did!


I was glad for the fact that I was exhausted because that meant that my son was finally here and he was a healthy eater!

I grabbed myself a bottle of dry shampoo and perfected the messy topknot.

I enjoyed the smell of freshly washed baby clothes and smiled as I folded the unbelievably small pants.

I played some lullabies and actually sat and rocked my son to sleep.

I sat there and held him a little longer, taking the time to smell his head and admire his little lips and chubby cheeks.

Mother son photo

I pushed the thought out of my mind that there was so much to do so I should lay him down so I can get to work (probably doing more laundry…or washing dishes). I didn’t want my son to be an inconvenience or a distraction from my life because he was the reason I was doing all of it! He was the most important thing! There will always be dishes and more laundry.

But he will only be little once and I did not want to spend another second wishing that away!

So yes, I do still nurse and rock him to sleep for his naps and at night. After all, he is only one year old (news flash: that’s still pretty little!). I take the time to snuggle him and enjoy his sleepy smiles. I am not in a hurry to rush him to grow up! I want to enjoy each second of him being little.

Now if you will excuse me, he is just waking up from his nap and I plan to rush in and get as many sleepy cuddles as possible before he wants me to put him down so he can go play.

with love,

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